Three Steps of Forgiveness:
1) “Outward Picture of an Inner Condition”:
What if the real source of my pain/discomfort/anxiety is not coming from the world? What if it’s coming from somewhere deep inside me (a place the Course calls my mind)?
What if it is coming from internally pushing away the Holy Spirit and choosing the ego instead? And now I somehow forget I even have a mind, much less that I’m choosing the wrong teacher. What if that’s why I’m really in a state of conflict, whether it’s anger, fear, depression, or whatever that’s not peace? What if it has nothing to do with anything external?
Workbook Lesson #5 says ” I’m never upset for the reason I think.” What if that’s true?
The Course reminds us: the seeming “outward” source of pain is simply my projection of the guilt for pushing God out of my awareness. This real source of all pain and guilt is always in my own mind.
The ego has been described as “edging God out.”
2) “The Made-up Inner Condition in my mind”:
What if I could not really push Jesus or the Holy Spirit away and choose to be a make-believe separated self, even if I thought I wanted to?
What if in spite of all the bad I think I have done to others, to myself, to Jesus… all my hateful judgements, all ‘my stuff’… what if Jesus is in my mind right here, right now, smiling at me… telling me in his smile he still loves me and my innocence is still intact?
When I’m willing to “go there” in my mind, and feel Jesus presence, I begin to realize that nothing I thought or did (which I begin to experience wasn’t really real after all) has ever affected my true essence, or kept Jesus away.
3) “State of Peace”:
This is experienced after the first 2 steps in which the Holy Spirit removes my own blocks to peace of …
(1) my external blame and condemnation and (2) my internal guilt and self loathing. I now realize that God not only loves the person’s true reality, who was seeming to cause me grief… but God also still loves my own true innocent self.
I experience the awareness that our seeming separated selves were not our true selves at all, and that we are actually the same one Self, God’s innocent Son still intact. (Even tho I’m still seeing images of separation…)
This awakening is the real miracle.